In the realm of books, I’m speaking about authors who can’t take a heavy subject and inject some unexpectedly funny irony in it, or who can’t do the opposite – tell some painfully jarring truths about subjects that are conventionally thought of as lighthearted and fun. Believe me, the mark of a good author is one who makes a point of doing either. That’s real talent. And it’s real rare.

Take a look at Barbara Ehrenreich’s work. Her book “Nickle and Dimed” will leave you angry, depressed – and frequently bursting into laughter as you read about her undercover travails as a low-wage worker. At the other end of the spectrum, if you pick up Bill Bryson’s “The Lost Continent” hoping for a light travel read, yes, you’ll find yourself chuckling and infused with warm memories of traveling as a child with your family – and you’ll also experience moments of quiet despair as he ruthlessly dispatches with many of the myths of “small town America.”

The news media – and all of us who are desperate for actually useful news – could certainly benefit from such unique perspectives and articulation in its own reporting. But “unique” is becoming a rare quality in a media model that I suspect is based on a lot of piggybacking and outright lifting. It’ s not even just the topics that seem like carbon copies of each other. It’s how they all seem to be reported using almost the exact same words and characterizations.

So where am I going with this in terms of commercial copywriting? That all the copy is starting to sound the same? That it’s not funny or depressingly realistic enough?

No – I just don’t find a lot of copy very truthful. It often doesn’t speak how prospects really think, or speak to what prospects are really thinking about. For example, is there anyone who honestly believes prospects rave out loud: “Wow! This software looks like it could maximize efficiencies and enable streamlined leaner operations!” Come on. If they do like the software, what they’re really thinking is something along the lines of, “This could be pricey, but it will also finally put an end to the huge pain in the a– I’ve been dealing with.”

I’m not saying that copy should use such earthy language when describing a benefit or feature; what I’m suggesting is it should use language that speaks to the reader’s actual reality to convince the reader why they should waste no time in buying your solution. Because no one lays awake at night stressing over their unmaximized efficiencies!

Well, maybe a handful do.  These are probably the same poor wretches who identify themselves on their business cards as the company’s  “evangelist” – and contrary to what might be hoped for when adopting this title, it does not suggest a passionate person with vision. It brings to mind an annoying person who will not get out of your face. (And please, don’t swap it out for “maven.” This harkens the equally unfortunate image of a shrilly cawing raven.)

I wish I could say I’ve done a bang up job in talking every client I’ve ever had out of publishing copy like this, but I’ve seen even straightforward lines like “ends the impractical and irritating task of a, b, c…” crossed out and swapped with muddled statements such as “helps you re-distribute corporate resources on more prioritized objectives.” While such language technically broadens a benefit description, it sheds little light on how the solution or company will completely transform the prospect’s daily reality for the better. And of course, it just doesn’t come across as real. Which means it doesn’t come across as credible. 

Your content literally speaks for your company. If you want it to cut through all the marketing clutter out there, then for heavens’ sake, don’t add to that clutter with the same safe and boring messages the competition is putting out. It won’t ring true – assuming anyone will even hear it over the identically clanging bells from everyone else.

“Financial system modernizations projects in the federal government have become too large and complex.  By setting the scope of projects too broadly rather than focusing on essential business needs, federal agencies are incurring substantial cost overruns and lengthy delays in planned deployments.  Compounding this problem, projects persistently fall short of planned results once deployed.” (My emphasis in bold.)

The writing is on the wall. No, not that tech companies should stop selling multipurpose solutions that work across the enterprise. Someday, prospects will care about all that again. But they increasingly care less (and it’s debatable how much they ever actually did) about “doing more with less.” They’re getting wise to what this promise often actually delivers: solutions that cost more resources to learn and deploy with less in the end to show for it.

Look, the prospect’s definition of value has changed, at least for now. It’s no longer “How much can I get at a good price?” Today, the buyer wants to know “How can I get what I really need now at a good price?”

So here is what I propose.  Shine a light instead – in your marketing collateral, your trade show signage, your face-to-face sales pitches – on the prospect’s current and pressingly real business needs, not all the extra bells and whistles your product features.

It’s really the most compelling messaging today. And if your product or service does indeed deliver on meeting these specific, urgent business needs, successful results will be more plainly apparent. Which garners trust in buying from you again.

So it goes without saying, having a solid handle on these urgent business challenges, in order of their priority, is one of the marketer’s most pressing needs – now more than ever.

After a period of observation, we begin to suspect a repeating behavior pattern is the culprit. Some misguided book told our friend the key to attracting suitors is to be aloof and unobtainable. Or maybe we notice firsthand how much our friend nervously chatters on without pausing to ask his or her date a few questions.

I’m starting to spot some similar correlations with marketing communications. A recent example: a colleague of mine and I were looking over a data sheet jam-packed with product functionality information. From a design standpoint, this left a very cluttered piece. But worse, it didn’t leave room to depict a few intriguing, real world benefits for the prospect – for whom there wasn’t much reason to continue reading.

Such a tactic assumed every prospect would have a high level of technical aptitude, even though the person who eventually writes the check for an expensive new software suite or other technology product sometimes doesn’t. It also assumed the tech-savvy reader would only respond to feature/functionality information.

Does your own marketing collateral nervously chatter away? If you suspect it might, pick the top two or three features that correlate with your prospect’s most urgent priorities, and keep your emphasis on the benefits these features deliver. At least for a two-page data sheet.

Now for the opposite problem: being invisible or sporadic in communication. It doesn’t work with either romantic or customer relationships.

Of course, neither does stalking. But there’s a difference between blitzing your prospects, customers, and partners with a barrage of emails every other day and regular, consistently spaced communication.  Quarterly communications probably won’t be enough. I think a monthly basis strikes a nice balance, or short updates every couple of weeks. One company that does a great job of this is, not surprisingly, the email marketer Constant Contact.

Another company that is really starting to test my patience, I won’t name, but they’re a well known marketing resource site and should know better. I’m getting an email from them every other day. It’s annoying and I’ve stopped opening them.

If you want to stay in touch with your audience on such a frequent basis without losing them from your newsletter subscription list, at least give them the option to make this choice themselves – like signing up for your blog, Twitter account, etc.

All things being said and despite the title of this post, I’d still rather remain a marketing copywriter and consultant than a relationship counselor. For one thing, I’ve yet to have a client call me in the middle of the night sobbing and threatening to self-destruct,  although I’ve fielded a few “HELP! I’ve got a deadline and no writer!” calls.

But the overlap is definitely there. How about you? Can you think of some examples where marketing communications is a lot like cultivating a love connection?

While most writers avoid a meltdown reminiscent of Jack Nicholson’s beleaguered author in The Shining, two tactics are sometimes taken instead that are almost just as bad for the eventual reader. Either the writer begins with the freshman essay-ish “Webster’s definition of…”or, they
launch into a product feature description.

Don’t do either if you want your reader to finish the rest of the piece.

Instead, try something different. Pique the reader’s curiosity and trigger an irresistible
desire to find out more. Ask a thought-provoking question. Point out a surprising statistic. Share a quirky anecdote.

The point is to open with an intriguing statement that “anchors” your main message. You’ll find it much easier to build the rest of your piece from there.

If you must begin your piece with a statement about your product’s benefit, try to do so without directly stating it. Instead, prove it.

For example, one of my clients manufactures computer embedded subsystems. A chief selling point about the product is that it powers a richly diverse range of applications around the world.

But instead of writing basically just that in a brochure I wrote for them, I opted to begin with an open-ended question that compelled the reader to find out more – while establishing the selling point in the very first sentence:

“What does a military translator in Afghanistan have in common with a grocery store clerk in Ohio?”

As the reader soon learned, both depended on an RFID application powered by my client’s embedded circuit board. This easily paved the way for discussion about the product’s scalability for different uses.

To really double the impact of an intriguing headline or opening sentence, pair it with an equally compelling graphic. This makes it possible to lead in with statements that will grab and hold a reader’s attention, even for the driest subjects.

Take an Albany Life ad written decades ago by the acclaimed copywriter Alfredo Marcantonio, pushing a retirement fund.

Ad graphic: A still photo of Ronald Reagan in full cowboy costume starring in an old spaghetti western.

Accompanying headline: “Will you be as fortunate finding a second career?”

That’s Golden Age Advertising. And we’d do well to remember its lessons – one of which is that on paper (and today, online), imagery and copy take the place of your best salesperson. Use some of the tips above and start selling more – from the very first sentence.

Stephanie Janard is a freelance copywriter based in North Carolina. She specializes in B2B copy for a wide range of  industries, with a particular focus on technology-related  products and services. For more information, email Stephanie at sjanard@msn.com or call 828.288.2831.

Luckily, there’s a more dignified option: let your trade show booth do the work for you.

I interviewed industry expert Les LaMotte, founder and CEO of Xtra Lite Displays, to learn how marketers can attract a continous flow of traffic, using a few tips and tricks from the science of spatial dynamics.

According to Les,  it’s  preferable that your booth should be noticed from several distances, starting with something eye-grabbing that attendees can spot from about thirty feet away. “Side wing” displays that catch attention from several aisles are also a good option.

But let’s say you weren’t able to secure such a desirable spot, or for that matter, invest in a fancy exhibit booth. That’s ok – attendees are still going to pass your booth at some point and you can still grab their interest with your exhibit spaces’s three distinct “Zones.”

“Starting at about fifteen feet from your booth, the attendee’s Memory Zone kicks in, where their eyes naturally move to the top of your display,” Les notes. “This is where you want to put your take-home slogan, that power statement attendees will remember about your company.”

For new or unknown companies, the Memory Zone is a particularly ideal place to put the major benefit of working with you.

But what if you’re a big brand, a Coca-Cola or an IBM? Everyone already knows who you are. So your Memory Zone statement should reveal something new and of relevant interest to the trade show’s audience.

Now that the Memory Zone has attracted several attendees to your booth, let’s extend their visit into the Sensory Zone.

“This is the middle zone where you want to appeal to the attendee’s senses. You can stimulate them with compelling words and big visuals, or even give them something tactile to do,” Les suggests. “Learning is a key aspect of the Sensory Zone, so your demos or other interactions should happen here.”

If you want to get really creative (and maybe split some costs), consider pairing up with one of your customers or partners to create a demo.

At an engineering design trade show, one of my clients, a 3D rendering company, teamed with an auto-manufacturer to set up a memorable scene in the Sensory Zone. The auto manufacturer had a sleek sports car shipped in, which my client displayed next to a large graphic of its indistinguishable 3D prototype – generated by my client’s rendering software.

Les points out that one of the biggest errors exhibitors make in the Sensory zone is putting up blocks of text from their brochure copy. This won’t stick with attendees, as it simply won’t make that immediate, big impact.

On to the Data zone, the one most people get wrong by using weak messaging – or none at all.

“At this point, the attendee is now looking down at the bottom of your display. And when people are looking down, they’re contemplating,” Les states. “Essentially, what they’re contemplating is if they should work with your company. How will you solve their problems, or make their job easier? The Data zone is where you want to give them the answers.”

In other words, the Data zone is where you give attendees the major reasons to purchase your product or service, or to at least take further action.

Les concludes with the following tip: “Never block the entrance with a table, especially if your trade show staff is standing behind it observing everyone who comes in. It makes visitors feel self-conscious. Consider your trade show booth your company’s living room where guests – potential customers – should feel at ease. Make it inviting!”

Les LaMotte is founder and CEO of Xtra Lite Displays, home of the patented XL1 lightweight aluminum display, and supplier to organizations such as Best Buy, Microsoft, Forbes, and Compassion International. Prior to founding Xtra Lite, Les was the chief designer for Skyline Displays. www.xtralite.com

Stephanie Janard is a freelance copywriter based in North Carolina. She specializes in B2B copy for national and multinational companies with a particular focus on technology-related products and services. You can reach Stephanie at 828.288.2831 or email sjanard@msn.com.